You mention smartphones in the introduction but never again. 3.4 - use of 'however' for contrast. there is no real contrast in the paragraph as both parts are negative. 3.5 - better linking needed for the reaso Conclusion - spokesperson not mentioned. 5.3 - when / if 5.4 Which younger person do you recommend?
Overall good work
Report on H&F MP3 Players Market Survey
1. Introduction
1.1 Background
Since smart phone becomes more and more popular nowadays, and it can function as a music player like an MP3 player, it is time to examine how it had affected the market of MP3 players.
1.2 Objectives
The report is to find out the reasons that led to the recent decline of sales of our MP3 players. We would like to find out the aspects that we have not done well and to work out possible solutions to better fulfil our consumers' expectations.
1.3 Outline
The report includes the findings of a market survey done before and the implications of problems. Then a number of recommendations are made to tackle each of the problems.
2. Procedure
The findings for this analysis are based upon market survey carried out by M&D Market Research Company, an independent external market research company in February 2011. A total of 200 H&F MP3 users and 200 iGADGET MP3 users were interviewed and asked to complete a questionnaire on the design, functions, sound quality, battery life and headphone quality of each brand.
3. Findings
3.1 Overall satisfaction
There is only a half of respondents who are satisfied with our MP3 players while three-fifths of interviewees are satisfied with iGADGET MP3 players. Satisfaction rate of H&F MP3 players in the aspects of design, functions and headphone quality is particularly unsatisfactory. Possible reasons and implications are discussed in the following sections.
3.2 Design
The number of interviewees who are satisfied with the design of our MP3 players is just a half of that of iGADGET MP3 players. A possible explanation is that the colour choice of our MP3 players is limited to black and white, while iGADGET offered a wider range of colour choices to consumers. Besides, our MP3 players are bulkier than iGADGET MP3 players which makes our players less attractive to consumers.
3.3 Functions
The satisfaction rate of our players' functions is just one-half of that of iGADGET MP3 players. It seems that consumers prefer drag-and-drop transfer of music file rather than using a required software. The software makes our players less convenient than our rivals.
3.4 Headphone quality
The contentment rate of our headphone quality is slightly lower than that of iGADGET MP3 players, however the rate is still unsatisfactory. This might be because our headphones are not as durable as consumers expected. Consumers may choose other brands to seek better headphone quality.
3.5 Decreasing market share
The local market share falls nearly a half over the past year. It is clear that problems mentioned above contributed to the fall of market share. Our spokesperson has been serving us for three years and it seems that his image no longer fit our product image well.
4. Conclusion
Overall, the design, functions and headphone quality of our MP3 players are not sufficient to meet consumers' expectations. it is clear that modification is needed for our MP3 players to retain our consumers.
5. Recommendations
5.1 Design
In order to meet the expectations of consumers regarding the design of MP3 players, the size and the weight of our MP3 players should be reduced. It is also recommended that more colour choices should be offered to consumers to enhance the competitiveness of our MP3 players.
5.2 Functions
Given that most of the consumers prefer drag-and drop music files transfer, it is highly recommended that the existing software should be abandoned to facilitate simple drag-and-drop file transfer. It can save users time and makes our MP3 players more user friendly.
5.3 Headphone quality
Since we have problems with our headphone quality, it is suggested a tightened quality control should be enforced in the factory. We should consider another headphone supplier when necessary.
5.4 Change of spokesperson
As the spokesperson has been serving us for three years already, it is time to consider another younger spokesperson to generate more excitement to consumers.
You mention smartphones in the introduction but never again.
3.4 - use of 'however' for contrast. there is no real contrast in the paragraph as both parts are negative.
3.5 - better linking needed for the reaso
Conclusion - spokesperson not mentioned.
5.3 - when / if
5.4 Which younger person do you recommend?
Overall good work
Report on H&F MP3 Players Market Survey
1. Introduction
1.1 Background
Since smart phone becomes more and more popular nowadays, and it can function as a music player like an MP3 player, it is time to examine how it had affected the market of MP3 players.
1.2 Objectives
The report is to find out the reasons that led to the recent decline of sales of our MP3 players. We would like to find out the aspects that we have not done well and to work out possible solutions to better fulfil our consumers' expectations.
1.3 Outline
The report includes the findings of a market survey done before and the implications of problems. Then a number of recommendations are made to tackle each of the problems.
2. Procedure
The findings for this analysis are based upon market survey carried out by M&D Market Research Company, an independent external market research company in February 2011. A total of 200 H&F MP3 users and 200 iGADGET MP3 users were interviewed and asked to complete a questionnaire on the design, functions, sound quality, battery life and headphone quality of each brand.
3. Findings
3.1 Overall satisfaction
There is only a half of respondents who are satisfied with our MP3 players while three-fifths of interviewees are satisfied with iGADGET MP3 players. Satisfaction rate of H&F MP3 players in the aspects of design, functions and headphone quality is particularly unsatisfactory. Possible reasons and implications are discussed in the following sections.
3.2 Design
The number of interviewees who are satisfied with the design of our MP3 players is just a half of that of iGADGET MP3 players. A possible explanation is that the colour choice of our MP3 players is limited to black and white, while iGADGET offered a wider range of colour choices to consumers. Besides, our MP3 players are bulkier than iGADGET MP3 players which makes our players less attractive to consumers.
3.3 Functions
The satisfaction rate of our players' functions is just one-half of that of iGADGET MP3 players. It seems that consumers prefer drag-and-drop transfer of music file rather than using a required software. The software makes our players less convenient than our rivals.
3.4 Headphone quality
The contentment rate of our headphone quality is slightly lower than that of iGADGET MP3 players, however the rate is still unsatisfactory. This might be because our headphones are not as durable as consumers expected. Consumers may choose other brands to seek better headphone quality.
3.5 Decreasing market share
The local market share falls nearly a half over the past year. It is clear that problems mentioned above contributed to the fall of market share. Our spokesperson has been serving us for three years and it seems that his image no longer fit our product image well.
4. Conclusion
Overall, the design, functions and headphone quality of our MP3 players are not sufficient to meet consumers' expectations. it is clear that modification is needed for our MP3 players to retain our consumers.
5. Recommendations
5.1 Design
In order to meet the expectations of consumers regarding the design of MP3 players, the size and the weight of our MP3 players should be reduced. It is also recommended that more colour choices should be offered to consumers to enhance the competitiveness of our MP3 players.
5.2 Functions
Given that most of the consumers prefer drag-and drop music files transfer, it is highly recommended that the existing software should be abandoned to facilitate simple drag-and-drop file transfer. It can save users time and makes our MP3 players more user friendly.
5.3 Headphone quality
Since we have problems with our headphone quality, it is suggested a tightened quality control should be enforced in the factory. We should consider another headphone supplier when necessary.
5.4 Change of spokesperson
As the spokesperson has been serving us for three years already, it is time to consider another younger spokesperson to generate more excitement to consumers.